thinking too much...

Sometimes I think about if life just stopped how easy things would be...Our problems would be left unsolved..but hey, I wouldn't have to deal with them anymore. But then I think again, how childish, and stupid am I to think that if I just die..I'll be fine. I want to live my life to the maximum, want to take as many opportunities as possible, be successful, be happy. But life is life. Life has trials, tribulations, days full of sorrow and days full of joy. You never know what life is going to bring you each and every day. I admit, I'm going through a lot of different things right now. There have been plenty of times when I just let people make decisions for me, because I was too lazy to think for myself. The few friends I have (or had) probably don't want anything to do with me now..I just don't know. People grow up, people change, we all are going to do our own thing in one way or another. I still don't know what to think about that whole situation, but I'm not gonna stress myself out trying to wrap my mind around it. I prayed about it, I'm done worrying. Gave it to God, I'll let him handle the rest. I know he can work it out because he told me so. Me and Him had a nice little talk yesterday. I'm always looking for an actual person to talk to, when all I need to do is go to God..I make the simplest things so difficult. UGH. I have GOT to get it together. School time is almost here..got about 3 more weeks. I'm so excited. As the days go by, I think I get a little more anxious too. Not about meeting new people, but about the work. I was a bit lazy in high school. I know all that has to change because this is college, we pay for this stuff now. I have to be ontop of things, start assignments on time so I don't have to pull all-nighters unless its necessary. Waiting until the last minute can't be the solution to doing everything anymore. Its time to be responsible, time to do things on my own. Good grades aren't just going to fall in my lap, I've got to work for them. I'm prepared to bust my ass in college. I don't want to be just a good student, I want to be an excellent student. Organized, willing to work, ready to learn, ready to put forth the EFFORT to learn even more. I want to learn how to create balance in my school work and social life. I never had that in high school. I was always putting other things before my work. Yeah, I got it done, but I def. know there are other ways to get work done. Ready to ship head on out of VA September 10th, 2009. Its comin up, I'm so ready to go =)